dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
