Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
