I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
