remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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