Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
