The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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