I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
