Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
