I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
