Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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