Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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