Sponge bath it is.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
