You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Mom said you looked used
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i think i just lost a toe
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
how does that bad decision feel?
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