I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
