In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
