so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
