Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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