Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm too high and old for this...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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