just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
