In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
