But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
