Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
