You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
