yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
