My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
