i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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