And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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