i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
