You really coming over, don't trick.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize