operation have a gay friend backfired
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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