i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
