Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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