could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
