I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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