He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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