Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
