After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
