Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
