nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
