i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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