I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
