So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
