four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
