Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
