There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
