If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
