my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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