i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
