Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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