There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
