My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
BRING THE BAGELS
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
