Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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